Life…complicated

10months3-6 a couple posts ago, when i said life comes at ‘chya full force sometimes, i wasn’t lying…here we are, in a new house, with a newly mobile baby, and i’ve got one leg… i guess this is more of an update on me, than on immi, which i guess doesn’t happen too often.  a few weeks ago, playing soccer, i ruptured my achilles. eck. and to answer everyone’s first question – no it wasn’t SUPER painful.  it felt like someonekicked me in the back of the leg… so i turned to get my call, and tried to get up, only to realize that i couldn’t.  felt like i was sinking into quicksand…seriously a weird sensation when you’re just expecting to get up and continue playing.  after a week or so of jumping through HMO hoops, I got in to see an orthopedid surgeon, had an MRI, x-ray’s, yada yada yada…well, turned out there was a ‘significant rupture’.  six centimeters to be exact.

for me, the decision whether or not to have surgery was an emotional roller coaster.  because immi is still nursing, things were a bit complicated.  the first day with the surgeon, i saw him three time.  i knew i needed the surgery, but i wasn’t ready to stop nursing… and by the time i finally left the surgeon’s office that day (after seeing him three times, talking with 3 or 4 lactation experts, my primary care doctor, and immi’s pediatrician), i wasn’t going to have the surgery.  i would have had to stop nursing immediately…and in my mind at the time, that wasn’t going to happen.  the doc, said that i could heal it without surgery… my question at the end of the day though, was “how?”.   so that night i was on the phone with my cousin, cullan…so glad i have family that i can call when in need. he was able to explain how things heal with surgery and how they heal without…and with such a huge gap not having surgery sounded like a really bad idea.  by the time i went to bed…i was having surgery.  oh i was a sobbing mess.  i had worked so hard to finally get immi to nurse, and to just cut it short, on such short notice…i was devastated…and new that she woudln’t take it well.  i knew that eventually things would be fine, but i knew at the same time, that they’d be rough….so i called in the morning to reschedule the surgery.  to my surprise, they said that they were going to call ME, because they had rescheduled the surgery.  the surgeon and my primary care doctor had been talking the night before and were able to get the meds i needed approved though my insurance.  so what if i needed to get injected into my belly fat twice a day for 6 months…i guess to me it’s worth it to be able to continue nursing and providing immi with all the nutrients i can.

after hearing all that, i often hear, ‘i hope your baby appreciates all that you do’…and i’m sure she does…but let’s be honest…there are some somewhat (ok super) vain things that i am pretty bummed about.  let’s start for instance in the fact that i’ve been waiting…oh-so-patiently…for summer to be GONE and for fall to finally hit, so i can wear sweaters and boots and wedges…everything that i love so much, that i couldn’t wear last fall/winter becuase i was preggers, and either too big, too hot, or too wobbly to wear… and there are all the super cute floral pants i’ve purchased in the past few weeks to get ready for a floral filled fall…that don’t fit over the cast…AND! then there are these little gold toe boots i got for immi (juicy couture…seriously)…and matching ones for myself (JoyFolie)…and yes, mine are the kids boots too…just one perk of having mini size feet.  since obviously we won’t be able to wear out matchy-matchy boots this year, and she will have outgrown these by next fall…i’ll have to buy her the JoyFolie version too :).   hopefully they’re still available…or at least findable on eBay (where i got both her Juicy Couture ones, and mine).

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