Pregnancy Bloopers- The S*$% No One Told Me About

First off, I MUST apologize for the recent poor blogging showing …I have failed my readers.

But, to make it up to you, I thought I’d share some of the more memorable moments from the past few weeks.

THIS IS A WARNING.  THE BELOW CONTENT IS FILLED WITH TMI…BY READING BEYOND THIS POINT YOU AGREE TO THE FOLLOWING – THERE IS ABOSLUTELY NO JUDGING.  JUST LAUGHING, CRYING AND LEARNING A LITTLE BIT MORE ABOUT THE ‘JOYS’ OF PREGNANCY.

1.  Puking in a bus stop garbage can, while standing in a puddle of your own urine….bawling, all while your husband is looking at you with that deer-in-headlights look.
    yeop, thats right…remember that post earlier, about having listeria?  well, this is the part of the story that I left out.  For those of you who have gone through this whole pregnancy thing, you probably have a similar story or two.  But here I was…with my head in a very disgusting bus stop garbage, with dozens of cars driving by… and standing in a puddle of my own urine.  Talk about humiliating.  We’re not talking a tiny little trickle. No…this was full on gush. The worst part?  walking the last half mile in my wet shorts….lord.   

2. Having to keep a stash of plastic bags in your car for your daily puke
    starting at week 13-14, everyone kept saying how the nausea and puking should start to slowly go away…well they lied…and it just kept getting worse, and worse, and worse…to the point where the puking started at around 4-4:30 pm, and would continue to about 11pm…when i’d be so exhausted, that I’d eventually be able to pass out- just to be able to wake up every hour or so to continue the oh-so-glorious time.    Seeing as though I typically work until 5pm…you’d can imagine the dilemma of driving home.  A girl must be prepared.  So I had my fully stocked stash of plastic bags sitting in the passenget seat, waiting for my car ride home.  Thinking back, I wonder what the cars next to me must have thought….

3.  Learning that Frontier Airlines is the worst airline EVER and that they employe horrible people like Patty.
    My last trip for work was in July…to Atlanta.  Do you know how far Atlanta is from San Diego?  Approximately 2,140 miles…thats a long trip.   Instead of rewriting the whole story and infuriating myself further…I thought I’d just share my email to Frontier:

I am 5 months pregnant, and still get nauseous, and apparently more so on flights during take off and landing.  On the landing of my flight I got extremely nausueous.  Maybe you and your employees don’t realize, that sometimes, when you’re pregnant, and you get sick, especially as you are further along, and the baby is pushing down on your bladder, when you puke, cough, sneeze, you can also urinate.  well, i’ve learned that when I puke, I need to be in a restroom, so to not soil my pants.  So, as soon as the flight landed I ran to the toilet.  Mid-puke, an attendant, named Patty, ripped open the door, pulled me out of the bathroom shoved a bag in my hand and harshly told me to go back to my seat.  Of course, by the time I got back to my seat, I was crying, my underwear wet, and I was ready to NEVER be on another frontier airplane again.    Unfortuneatly, I had a layover and still needed to change planes, thus, needing to get back on another plane. You can probably imagine JUST how “thrilled” I was to see the exact same crew.  I took my seat, quite unhappy that I’d have to see Patty again.  After taking off, I saw her looking around the cabin.  When she saw me, she bent down and said “i have a present for you”  chuckled, and handed me another vomit bag.  THEN said “the other attendent told me that you were pregant, and thats why you dashed to the restroom”.   As I sat in my wet underwear in my seat, I found her “gift” to be rude, disrespectful, and untactful.  I was travelling for work at the time, with other co-workers…so you can imagine what I was feeling at that point.  Not too mention, how bad I felt for the person who had to sit in my previous seat, on the previous plane… I flew 2 weeks prior to this trip for a separate business trip, on Delta. The attendents on that flight were much more understanding, kind, and respectful to my needs.  That is what I expect from ALL attendents on all airlines.

4.  Sobbing in the Bathtub at 2 in the morning becuase it’s too hot, you’re sick of peeing in your bed everytime you cough, and you’ve been puking for the past 6 hours.
      I don’t know about the rest of the US, but it has been ungodly hot here in San Diego this summer. Typically, we have about 2 weeks of heat that is a little less than bearable…so we’ve never actually gotten to needing an AC.    Well, amidst the probably third week of extreme heat….after a few hours of coughing, and puking and running to the bathroom, I had just had enough.  I was hot and miserable….so i turned the tub on to cold and got in…

5. Walking with Poise…
    As if all this nauseau and puking wasn’t enough…of course, I had to catch whatever nasty cold was going around…which of course entailed a nasty, nasty cough…again, back to self-urination.  every night I’d go to bed, and when I’d start to feel a little tickle, I’d try to dash to the restroom so I could safely cough on the toilet…sometimes i’d make it, sometimes, well…i wouldn’t.  After sending Adam off, on 50 mile goose chase to hunt down the LAST AC within a 50 mile radius, doing my third load of wash, JUST to have clean underwear, I decided to take a trip to the local Rite-Aid (pharmacy/convenient store)… to buy POISE- discreet bladder control pads.  Do you know what those are?  People say they are just super absorbent pads…but NOOOOO, these things are cotton boats you stick in your underwear.  They are diapers, without side tabs.  they go from way up front, alllllllllllllll the way back.  Infact, they only fit in a few pair of my underwear…apparently bikini briefs, not meant for Poise… Well, I bought a family size pack (no they don’t call them family size, but the largest pack)….and started back home.  As I was in the cross-walk, i just started sobbing.  I really wanted my mom…I knew she would have handled this all so much better than me.   Good news is…shortly after I got home, Adam got back with a wonderful AC for our bedroom…finally, some relief.
 

6. Finding the chocolate milk…in your cupboard.
    hahahaha…and nope! wasn’t even MY pregnancy brain…though, he (to remain nameless) sure tried to play it off that way…



4. Finding melted chocolate in your bra after getting home from work.
    not much else to be said about his one…i eat chocolate…i wear a bra.

5. Dipping your over sized tots in BBQ sauce
    and i’m not talking the fried potatoe tots… THEY JUST KEEPING GETTING BIGGER AND BIGGER AND BIGGER AND BIGGER AND BIGGER… and why do they change color?

Half Way! – twenty weeks and counting

well, it’s official!   we are half way through this! uh….AHHHHHHHHHHHH!   it really does go pretty fast, huh?  we’ve finally started clearing out the spare bedroom…the bed is gone, the broken desk is cleaned out…the crib is here, but one of the wooden spindles is broken 😦  so we are waiting to call the company tomorrow to get a new piece.  I’m really quite in love with the crib!  a HUGE thank you to Oma and Opa for marshmallow’s beautiful crib!!!   It’s a franklin & ben liberty crib, from NessaleeBaby (hopefully they are helpful and sends us a replacement for the broken piece).  

and though, i feel as though i have ‘looked’ pregnant for months, people are finally starting to comment on my belly!!!!  

GUEST POST- Life lessons I’ve learned from marathon training.

Last Sunday morning I got to do something I’ve been waiting for since January- cross ā€œrun a marathonā€ off my bucket list. It was something I’ve wanted to do for a few years, but always doubted my ability to discipline myself to put in the training miles. They say life is a journey and not a destination, and it couldn’t apply more in this experience. I went through many highs and many lows along the way, and I thought I’d pass along a few words of wisdom that could bridge the gap of what I’ve learned and how it will stay with me the rest of my life.



Set high goals for yourself, and tell people about them so you are held accountable. I feel like I’ve made a ton of New Year’s resolutions in my life, but only had minimal success following through on them. I knew if I didn’t tell anyone about my goal to run the Rock and Roll Marathon San Diego marathon in June, it would be too easy to just give up or conveniently ā€œforgetā€ to get in my run that day.


Follow a reliable, proven formula. When I first got the idea in my head to run a marathon, the longest distance I had ever run in a single stretch was about 12 miles- and that was about 11 years ago while in college! My typical runs lately were about 4-5 miles at the max, so even the idea of a HALF marathon seemed overwhelming. I knew I needed help, so I consulted the web and found an array of training routines from reputable running coaches that would allow me to work with the foundation I had in place and gradually work up my mileage each week. I wanted a routine that was realistic and set me up for success. I knew going in that this would be a commitment, but I didn’t want to have to dedicate my entire life to running. I chose Hal Higdon’s program for the fact it only required three relatively short runs days during the workweek (when I am busiest) and then a long-distance run on Saturdays


Get comfortable being uncomfortable. This was a favorite quote of a professor of mine back in grad school and while I always understood it’s value in the business world, I have a new appreciation of the term after this experience. There were seemingly endless examples of this in my journey- from the 6:30 weekday morning runs before work, to a long Saturday run in the pouring rain. Even if the weather is perfect and its not 6:30am- running is exhausting and will make you want to double over in pain. It’s up to each person to anticipate and deal with this each and every time.


Make sure you have the right equipment. Running takes a toll on the feet, the knees, the hips, and even the mind. I liked wearing sunglasses when I run during the day, but the pair I had kept fogging up all the time. Once on a long run I wore a pair of cheap socks and it lead to awful blisters. I would always seem to ā€œhit the wallā€ around mile 18 or so in my training runs, and couldn’t understand why until I saw a nutritionist at a health food store and she explained to me that I needed to carry amino acids and electrolyte supplements with me to relieve the dizzy feeling I would always suffer and once my body’s storage was depleted. Try out different combinations of gear and when you find a combination that works- stick with it.


Look for little wins. On long runs, knowing I had 10 miles to go before finishing always seemed overwhelming to me. I discovered that breaking up the distance and utilizing this theory can make the task a bit more tolerable. This can mean anything to any person- it could be as simple as making it to a water fountain, letting momentum carry you down a hill, or even just turning a corner so the wind is at your back can be a huge pick me up.



Not everyday is going to be a great day. For about two weeks, I fought a nasty hip flexor pain in my left side, and then a few months later I had the exact same thing happen in my right. I also experienced my first bout with plantar fasciitis in my right foot for about a week. I was fortunate not to suffer any major injuries in my training, but there were no shortage of days I either physically or mentally wasn’t interested. These were the days I just went into autopilot mode: laced up my shoes, put my head down, and got it done.


You can’t fake hard work. The reason I was so intrigued at setting this goal for myself back in January was the challenge of it, and the discipline needed to achieve it. There is no way to cheat the system and breeze your way through a marathon- a person needs to train for months and months to build the stamina required.



When life knocks you down, you get right back up. When I attempted the Rock and Roll Marathon back in June, I may have been prepared physically, but not mentally. The pressure of so many people cheering me on had me running at too fast of a pace and ultimately lead to me burning out around the 19-mile mark. I was so disappointed in myself while sitting in the Medic Tent- I felt like such a failure and all my months of training was worthless. It wasn’t until a week or so later that I realized that it didn’t have to be a big disappointment unless I made it that way. I found the next race in Southern California (today in Long Beach) and treated the Rock and Roll experience as if it were just a long weekday training run. This kept me motivated and focused at achieving my goal- even if it were a bit postponed.


Hard work is always worth it in the end. Looking back- I’ve learned so much about myself. As much as running is classified as an ā€œindividual sportā€, there is no chance I could have completed this race today without my wife, and the friends and family that have stood by me throughout this experience with unwavering support. There is a reason people put themselves through the seemingly torture of a marathon- it is an amazing feeling to cross that finish line and know you have pushed your body to the absolute limit. 


keep smiling,

adam