tutu and boppa are in town…mama is off on mondays…and so is auntie cassidy! so what does that mean?  butterfly jungle TAKE TWO! when we were at butterfly jungle on friday, the lady wearing yellow had dozens of butterflies land on her…obviously that meant that we’d look like a walking blob of sunshinethis time around! YELLOW (and no, you’re not seeing double…the girls are wearing the same shirt….these girls lack color in their wardrobe)! 

after a successful butterfly attracting session, we decided to move the safari beyond the butterfly lair, and took an african tram tour, and lunch at the oasis…mmmMmm coconut sorbet.

knowing who her parents are, immi is bound to either be a goobery goober, or absolutely adorkable…you decide which suits her best!  

i feel that in order to tell this full story, i need to share some information that i haven’t shared to the majority of you before.  and sorry to start this post a little heavy…but, you’ll appreciate the story for it’s entiriety.  before our little love, immi, came along, i miscarried… and yes, it was sad, and affected me more than i thought at the time…but, don’t feel sad for me.  i am a true believer that things happen in life for a reason, and now that immi is here, i couldn’t be a bigger believer in that statement…

anyways…when it came time to take that pregnancy test again, i was nervous.  nervous that it would say “not pregnant”, nervous that it would say “pregnant” and then i’d have to go through all the worry about things going wrong again.  i didn’t want to tell anyone, not even adam, i was taking the test, because i didn’t want to have to tell anyone what it said. SO, knowing that i wanted to take a test, i really needed to be distracted…i took off a friday and went to butterfly jungle with my cassidy and sweet rylie.  there couldn’t have been a better place to just be at ease.  when a little butterfly landed on my stomach, i smiled a little.  no one knew why.  it was my little secret.  after i got home, i went straight to the bathroom, peed on that stick…and voila.  one year later, i took the sweetest, most beautiful, happy baby girl to butterfly jungle.

dear rylie.  you may not be the biggest fan of little immi right now…but i know down the road you two will be the best of friends.  you and your sweet little smile gave me the courage to take that test again…thank you.

so, of course i had to document the event!  please enjoy our short little video!

le. sigh.  this moment seems so long ago, and yet, like it was 10 minutes ago.  a squishy little ball.  she seems so much older now, yet it’s been no more than a couple of months since she’s entered our lives.  for me, going back to work isn’t hard becuase i am worried about her…i have too many wonderfully loving people in my life willing to love her while i’m away…rather it’s hard, because i’m afraid of missing out on something.  just seeing how much she’s has changed and developed in such a short amount of time…i know that each moment i am away from her, she is developing, changing, growing… that both breaks my heart and excites me all at the same time.  this “mom thing” is a crazier adventure than i could have ever have imagined.  i have never been so angry about time passing so fast…never been so happy to see someone poop (after 24 hours of no poop)…

but, i’m back to work.  1 week down.  i’m only back 3 days a week until august.  i work for an awesome company that is letting me take my time coming back, and understands me needing to ease my way back in.  for me, the second day back was hardest.  adam was home the first day, so it was a little like i was just running to the store or going to play soccer…but on the second day, she was going to spend the day down at Nana’s with rylie and cynthia.  i knew that she was going to be well cared for and spoiled with love, but, there was something about her leaving ME that was emotionally harder for me to handle.  maybe it’s because i know that deep down that may have been the first, but definitely not the last time, she was going to leave me.  

though it’s a little hard for me to admit without feeling somewhat guilty, i think i am/will enjoy being back at the office.  the days FLY by, and it is nice to feel somewhat productive (not that I don’t feel productive being at home…that’s an entirely different feeling of productivity).

someone posted a story on FB that seriously took the words straight out of my soul.  Instead of making this blog post super long, please take a minute to go here to read it…BecomingAmom.